No one likes to talk about it, but death and grieving are a very real part of our lives that we all deal with at some point. People handle death and grieving in different ways, and it can be confusing to know what to say, how to reach out and what not to say.

Here are some pointers to help you:

Don’t say: “He’s in a better place.”
Instead say: “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Don’t say: “Call me if there’s anything I can do.”
Instead say: “May I bring you dinner tomorrow night?”

Don’t say: “It’s God’s will.”
Instead say: “She was an extraordinary person.”

Don’t say: “I know how you feel.”
Instead say: “Please know that I am thinking of you.”

Don’t say: “Now you’re the man of the house.”
Instead say: “Your father was an example for us all.”

If you’re unsure of what to say, be sincere and simple. At the very base of all our condolences is the sentiment of being sorry that someone is dealing with loss. You can always say just that: “I’m so sorry for your loss, and my thoughts are with you.”